The real enemy in your marriage


Do you and your spouse have such terrible arguments that you feel lost and depressed?

Have you been in a bad place in your marriage for so long that you sometimes wish God didn’t speak so much against divorce in the Bible?
I’ve written several columns about Bert and me. Although I’ve tried to be honest about our struggles, I wonder if I’ve given the impression we have an almost perfect marriage.
I assure you, we don’t.
We occasionally have such horrible fights I fear we’ll never again feel love for each other. Then, at the height of our yelling, one of us will miraculously suggest we pray together. Sometimes, as we begin our prayer, I’m filled with doubt that God can reunite our hearts.
But He always does.
While we pray, God reminds us who our real enemy is. I’m not Bert’s enemy, and he’s not mine – though it may feel that way at times. Rather, we’re fighting a cruel foe. “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 6:12 ESV).
When Bert and I hear about those with seemingly perfect marriages ending in divorce, we become more committed than ever to see each other as allies. We strive harder to support one another as members of the same team.
Although there were years when Bert and I wondered if we’d make it to the next anniversary, we recently celebrated our 15th. We’re more determined to recognize the devil’s schemes when he tries to divide us. And we’ve reinforced our commitment to stand together against him in Jesus’ Name.
Honoring God individually and as a couple becomes increasingly important to us as we grow in our love for God and His Word. The more Bert and I appreciate God’s mercy toward us, the more we desire to extend mercy to each other.
We also realize we don’t know how long we have left on this earth. Knowing we’re not guaranteed even the next moment makes us determined not to take each other for granted.
Therefore, we refuse to waste any more time fighting each other while the real enemy laughs.
Sheryl H. Boldt, a Franklin County resident, is the author of the blog, Connect with her at


No comments on this item Please log in to comment by clicking here